If you know the Wild Heartwell, it’s a widely-known thing that I LOVE Seinfeld. However, there is one particular episode

Happy Festivus from the Wild Heart

that strikes my fancy: The Strike. This one is perhaps best-known as The Festivus.

With that said, I present to you the Wild Heart’s celebration of Festivus. HAPPY FESTIVUS! LET’S RUMBLE!

Airing of Grievances:

The airing of grievances gathers everyone you know and you tell them how they have wronged you in the past year.

  • Heart – you come to Houston AGAIN and every time you do, you jack up your ticket prices. As a fan, I find this completely appalling. I haven’t seen your act since 2008’s Human Tour when I was in college. Between then and now, the economy went to hell and now this jobless college grad cannot afford to go to your concerts. Please lower your ticket prices!!
  • Amy Grant – Your “2 Friends Tour” COMPLETELY avoided coming to Houston. I really wanted to see you live again and performing all your old hits, as well as Michael W. Smith. So I suggest that you stop snubbing Houston, and come to some place like the Berry Center, Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavillion, or even the House of Blues. Otherwise I am done listening to your music!
  • KTRU – I go in for an interview twice with you dumbass hipsters and you refuse to hire me twice! You act all anti-record industry yet what do I see when I walk into your studios but a big white banner that says “TOM WAITS FOR NO ONE!” Guess what? He was signed to Asylum and Island Records – both are major labels. He’s currently signed to Anti records, the US distributor to Kate Bush. Hate to break it to you but that’s a major label too. Yet somehow you don’t like me because I tell you the artists I am currently loving are Fleetwood Mac, Stevie Nicks and Kate Bush. You are nothing but hypocrites. Thanks for crushing my on-air dreams.Oh and one more thing, since you are based at Rice University: GO COOGS!
  • Stevie Nicks – Why did you have to snub Houston for the “Heart and Soul” tour? I wanted to see you perform that duet of Young Turks with Rod Stewart Not cool! But thanks for coming for the “In Your Dreams” tour. That was amazing!
  • White Stripes, Rilo Kiley, & R.E.M – Why did you all break up? We need you to save us from the clutches of the evils of bad music such as Lady GaGa & Katy Perry!
  • Ke$ha – I couldn’t help but notice that your song “C U Next Tuesday” is an acronym for “cunt.” As a college educated woman who took at least 9 hours of womens studies classes, I find this VERY offensive. Just because a guy calls you that doesn’t mean that it is okay. It’s degrading a female to a mere body part and nothing more. Take a freaking lesson from the women’s lib movement from the 70’s Ke$sha!
  • The Ton Tons – How come you never got back to me about covering you guys?
  • Nameless haters of that know who they are – What the hell gives you the right to take shots at the Wild Heart? BTW keep up the hatin’ because people like you only make people like me stronger! To quote Pat Benatar: “Knock me down it’s all in vain. I get right back up on my feet again! Hit me with your best shot!” It’s never cool to make fun of someone’s album collection. Vinyl is cooler, better sounding as far as decibels go, but you are a clueless jerk who only cares about making other peoples lives miserable.

And now for the toasts of 2011

  • All of the local bands that I have covered this year – Nightbird – Stevie Nicks Tribute, Spare Parts, Spare Heart – Heart Tribute, August 83, Kozmic Pearl – Janis Joplin Tribute, Love It To Death – Alice Cooper Tribute, and BlackRozeHouston. I have loved every minute of covering you guys. Houston’s music scene is like a hidden gem of musical talent. All of y’all keep up the good work and I think you will go far! Special thanks to John Hill and Jennifer Nguyen for giving me this idea.
  • Glee – One of the best things that you do, aside from the funny storylines with Jane Lynch and Matthew Morrison, is that you introduce classic rock numbers to a new generation. You did this well with last season’s salute to Rumours by Fleetwood Mac. No thanks to the show, a new generation got to hear snippets about the emotional drama that went on behind the scenes but also hear the songs themselves as performed by the cast. I want an encore! However can that encore be with something by Yes or Styx?
  • Stevie Nicks – Your new album, In Your Dreams, is AMAZING! It reminds me of your old 80’s albums like The Wild Heart, Bella Donna, and The Other Side of the Mirror. Also, your In Your Dreams tour was pretty magical – least your concert in Houston was. (Never have I been to the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavillion where a concert was done in 103+ degree heat under a big full moon. Even better, your merchandise wasn’t too expensive and my mom liked the keychain I got her.
  • Lindsey Buckingham – I won tickets to your concert at Cactus Records. Though I am unfamiliar with your solo work, I must say you were pretty amazing at the Verizon Wireless Theater. Also, I must give you mad props for performing my favorite Fleetwood Mac song, Tusk.
  • Cactus and Black Records – Without you lovely people, I would not have been able to cover 2 major shows (Lindsey Buckingham and Lost 80’s Night at StereoLive with Animotion, When In Rome, and A Flock of Seagulls), survived a bad day at work, and helping me to climb the ladder of success with blogging.
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